We had a rough week here at our condo. Having decided we couldn’t keep our beloved Samson, we took him back to our old house last week to live with my daughter’s dad. Living in a smaller condo, having no yard, and being caged all day seemed unfair to him. And he was marking my things. I imagined that he’d be happier there and worry about getting rid of him later, when my ex decided to move.
Saturday afternoon at 4:30pm, I got a frantic call from from one of my daughters. Dad was getting rid of the dog and he had to be there by 5pm. I simply didn’t know what to do. I placed a quick call to him, but to no avail. I couldn’t take Samson back, but I really wasn’t ready to let him to go. But I did.
Tears ruled the evening along with some anger at me for not caring enough. I guess that was fair. One of my daughters imagined Samson all alone in a cage, or at a house where people were mean to him. That definitely didn’t help my emotions.
So I did what any mom would do. I went to King Soopers and bought ice cream and candy. Then we watched a scary movie, pigged out, and cried occasionally.
Later, after the boyfriend had gone home, we had a really good bawling session, hence the swollen eyes this morning. We prayed that God would give Samson a good home. Sunday morning, there was still sadness as one daughter could barely put herself together for church. (I was proud of her for making it there, though her sadness was visible)
It’ll take awhile for that to heal. The way it was handled and the loss of a beloved pet to the unknown really makes a mom feel so much sadness and guilt for her kids, even if she knows it was the right thing to do.
For now, I find myself looking online to see if his picture is up on the Buddy Center site yet, knowing I’ll feel better once he’s been adopted. And I keep praying that he’ll really find a good home. I also pray for my daughters’ sadness to heal, and for restored relationships for them.
But I also laugh through the tears at the memories of him and the mouse watch, the hamster he didn’t like too much, the way he love having just one peanut M&M, the way my roses never looked better than the year he urinated on them constantly, and the way he loved us no matter if we yelled at him sometimes or not.
As for me? No more pets. My heart can’t take it.
Goodbye Samson. You were an awesome dog and you’ll be missed 😦