Running

As I eluded to in the previous post, our condo is for sale. The lock box is now on the door and I receive a 24 notice if someone wants to look at the place. So far, no visit. At first I thought of how we’d have to keep the place clean and picked up, no more bras hanging on the door in the bathroom, everything wiped down and cleaned spotless. But I’ve scaled back and settled for the no more bras part. I’ve hidden my three valuables and come to grips with this part of life.

Our plan was to move at the end of June. Get out before it all falls apart. You see, the condo is a short sale, and if that doesn’t work it’s a foreclosure. That was why I felt the urgency of moving. I’ve talked of how it’s nice to have the security of a place to call home and having that uprooted again was very unsettling. I’ve since changed my mind.

I often reflect on my actions and my life and I recently noticed a pattern, I often run before things get too bad. A coping mechanism I guess to avoid pain and sadness. And a way to not feel trapped and helpless, a feeling I am very terrified of due to a childhood experience. (However, this was not true of my marriage. I gave that at least 5 years of intense work, but that’s another story for another day)

So I thought to myself, “why not stay awhile and see if it sells”? On the assumption that the only person who’d buy it would be an investor. I talked to my daughters about this idea and they liked it as well. After giving it some thought, it turns out we actually really like it here. The condo has neat architectural features, a worthless fireplace that makes us laugh, and most of all us! It’s where we call home. Sure the sidewalk looks as if you could lose a small child in the crack and I sometimes think the first stair will give way and I’ll break a leg, thus giving me a small settlement from the association (haha). Our home is a place that if they actually imposed the fine for not picking up dog poop, would be able to fix these defects.

But if you look past all of that, you can see the snow capped mountains that always remind me of God. How great He is and how much He loves us. I can see some trees in the park that are blooming, and I can see the lovely 2 story condo that was for rent that I coveted. It’s about hearing the melody behind the lyrics. Finding beauty beyond the big facts of life.

So for now, we’re settled and praying for a buyer that wants us to stay. Most of all, I’m trusting in God that we’ll have a home regardless and trying to teach my daughters to feel that same trust in Him.

Pray for us!!!

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