I’m finding that though we’re being very outspoken about Natasha’s eating disorder, some people don’t listen. It’s sad for them because it’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s something that many girls (and boys) suffer from. I listen to a song from Casting Crowns and the lyrics stick with me. “But would it set me free, If I dared to let you see? The truth behind the person , that you imagine me to be? Would your arms be open, or would you walk away. Would the love of Jesus be enough to make you stay?”
But mostly I’m greeted with a sense of relief, and stories. Stories that people have been made to feel ashamed of. Stories of alcoholism, eating disorders, and mental illnesses. The joy that comes over the faces of these people, the sense of relief to finally be sharing this pain, and to know they aren’t alone in hiding it.
This eating disorder has ignited within me a desire to be transparent about this, as well as other issues I’ve dealt with or still deal with that people find shameful. This is not to say that I’ll shout everything from the rooftops. Perhaps one of those marquee signs that have the scrolling words! But I’ll be more outspoken about my stories of anxiety and depression. I’ll be more open to allowing God to use me in other people’s lives. Because that’s one reason we go through these valleys. Yes, they draw us close to God, but they also give us the tools to help others and to be a light to the world.
Tomorrow will be a tough day. In addition to Natasha and myself, my two older daughters will be in the therapy session too. Many things need to be addressed. I pray that these items are indeed addressed, even if painful. It could be a long weekend.
Remember, you only get one life to live.